No Chicks Allowed.
Conservatives have a lot of very stupid ideas about torture.
For example? Torture. Also? Torture-supporting t-shirts.
However, stupid just reached a new pinnacle, the Hank Aaron of
complete imbecility, in terms of torture. And that beautiful mind which
unleashed this upon the world? Kathleen Parker.
While there are plenty of good reasons to keep Gitmo
open - we need some place to hold suspected terrorists, after all -
cleaning house seems an excellent idea. Let's begin by getting rid of
As an act of self-respect, as well as diplomacy, we should get
women out of male prisons and interrogation centers and put an end to
this ignorant, politically correct (forgive the redundancy), morally
subversive, counterproductive policy of using women to sexually
humiliate men as a means of breaking them down for questioning. From
under exactly what rock did the perpetrators of these filthy methods
Yes - does anyone remember the NOW marches on college campuses
demanding that women be allowed equal access to violations of
international law? It was right around the time Planned Parenthood
released its seminal short paper, Why Can't Women Rape, Too?
Y'see, folks, torture is far better for all of us if it reinforces
the idea that aggression is just too much for women, and leaves the
sexual perversions and degradation where it belongs - in the
thick-cocked bodies of male soldiers. Remember, ladies - if you've got
a cock, torture's a lock!
Various reports out of Gitmo suggest a consistent
pattern of X-rated behavior by women toward men. (For a list taken from
documents recently released to the American Civil Liberties Union under
the Freedom of Information Act, go to
Even if such behavior weren't offensive to the Muslim world we're
trying to charm with our democratic ways, it should be condemned by us.
Instead, it is apparently a policy, if unspoken, to use women in ways
we never would condone in civilian life and that certainly would get
men punished if roles were reversed. The MO even has a name: the
"sex-up" approach. Pithy.
Amanda, you and I need to have a talk. I know how much you believe
in female empowerment through bound menses-rubbing, but I think it
would do wonders for the credibility of all femalekind if you could
bring yourself to condemn these practices at Guantanamo. Just think
about it - I remember the "Period Parties" you told me about when this
hit the news, and the week of famous prisoners with photoshopped
menstrual blood on their faces that Feministe put up, but there has to be a line.
Men get to torture. It's as simple as that! And since nobody
who was offended at this recommended those soldiers or their commanders
be punished - ever - maybe we should stake out some moral credibility
on those grounds, too. It's an idea!
In some instances, (civilian) women interrogators at
Gitmo partially stripped, and fondled themselves and the male
prisoners, who sometimes were forced to strip in front of women. In one
particularly loathsome example related by a former U.S. Army linguist,
Sgt. Erik Saar, during a "60 Minutes" interview, a female interrogator
put her hands in her pants, where she had hidden red ink.
She then wiped her reddened hands on the detainee's face, telling
him it was menstrual blood. Again, this clearly doesn't qualify as
"torture" compared to electric shock and beatings, but it's still wrong
as ballet boots.
Anyone remember when I put ballet boots in my pants and rubbed them on a prisoner's face? That was fucked up.
And even though this particular prisoner was
especially worrisome - a Saudi training at an American flight school -
employing a woman to perform some elaborate misogynistic kabuki seems
not so much torturous as depraved. The war on terror, which is also a
battle of perception, is daunting enough without our handing ammo to
Let me get this straight. Not shit to say when we're stacking male
prisoners in naked pyramids, not shit to say when an enlisted soldier
posing as a captive gets brain damage because his captors think he's an
actual terrorist, not shit to say when we detain thousands of people
without any just cause, but throw a woman in there and you're all of a
sudden giving bin Laden the keys to the kingdom.
By the way, is this "misogynistic"? These women are basically
performing variants of the sadistic torture visited in numerous other
ways upon these prisoners by other men and women. You can argue that it
plays upon misogyny, but it seems far more misogynistic to
declare that torture and abuse is made worse merely by the presence of
women. Any misogyny involved takes a distant second to the fact that
it's horrific abuse of another human being.
Women have a legitimate role in the military and the
war on terror, but playing the man-baiting whore is surely a sin of
miscasting. And Gitmo, while not the killing camps of Stalin, Pol Pot
and Hitler, is not America either.
But take out the chicks, and it's Iowa, mother fuckers! [Pandagon]